iterative models
Sometimes I think this city won't stop teaching us something until we get it.
Broken
I hate you for being noble enough
to be able to walk away
from our non-relationship,
for no longer filling the emotional void inside me,
for being stronger and smarter and
more sensible than me.
I hate you for making me cry
and for making me feel totally powerless.
I hate you for treating me like a princess
but being able to say no,
for being strong enough to do
what we both know is right.
I hate you for being intelligent and fascinating
without being arrogant and stubborn
and I hate you for being the person
I've spent so much time looking for and
finally, now, can't have.
By Daureen
I was turning 22, she was 25 and engaged.
Daureen wrote this for me the afternoon I told her to return to her fiancé and leave the notion of us together in the dark recesses of her imagination where it belonged. I told her it was for the best, that whatever we had between us was puerile compared to the future he wanted to give her, I told her that this would only end badly and that I didn’t want any part of it. I said so much but I didn’t tell her I didn’t feel anything for her… and that I probably never will.
It’s been four years now and I‘m still finding much to regret from this conversation.
Initially we went through the common motions of forbearance but it didn’t last for long. A week later she walked out of her engagement and found her way to my front porch. I asked her why she did it. She said she did it for us.
Out of obligation we dated for a little while before I finally ended it. I heard later that she tried to reconcile matters with her fiancé but it was already too late. She’s the only girl that’s written for me. She gave me eight pieces in total and they were all about how I hurt her.
Chicks with dicks, you know… sigh.
Goodnight, world. I'm sorry for all the damage.
-----------------------------------------------
Melodic eccentricities you should be listening to:
What: This Love
By: Maroon 5
From: Songs About Jane (2002)
Why:
Because these are the wicked words that hang disturbed and unsettled between our unwritten lines.
Broken
I hate you for being noble enough
to be able to walk away
from our non-relationship,
for no longer filling the emotional void inside me,
for being stronger and smarter and
more sensible than me.
I hate you for making me cry
and for making me feel totally powerless.
I hate you for treating me like a princess
but being able to say no,
for being strong enough to do
what we both know is right.
I hate you for being intelligent and fascinating
without being arrogant and stubborn
and I hate you for being the person
I've spent so much time looking for and
finally, now, can't have.
By Daureen
I was turning 22, she was 25 and engaged.
Daureen wrote this for me the afternoon I told her to return to her fiancé and leave the notion of us together in the dark recesses of her imagination where it belonged. I told her it was for the best, that whatever we had between us was puerile compared to the future he wanted to give her, I told her that this would only end badly and that I didn’t want any part of it. I said so much but I didn’t tell her I didn’t feel anything for her… and that I probably never will.
It’s been four years now and I‘m still finding much to regret from this conversation.
Initially we went through the common motions of forbearance but it didn’t last for long. A week later she walked out of her engagement and found her way to my front porch. I asked her why she did it. She said she did it for us.
Out of obligation we dated for a little while before I finally ended it. I heard later that she tried to reconcile matters with her fiancé but it was already too late. She’s the only girl that’s written for me. She gave me eight pieces in total and they were all about how I hurt her.
Chicks with dicks, you know… sigh.
Goodnight, world. I'm sorry for all the damage.
-----------------------------------------------
Melodic eccentricities you should be listening to:
What: This Love
By: Maroon 5
From: Songs About Jane (2002)
Why:
Because these are the wicked words that hang disturbed and unsettled between our unwritten lines.
posted by Ngan Chong at 5:40 PM
5 Comments:
Thats heart heavy man.
When I broke up with my ex one & a half years ago, she tried to slash her wrists so I stayed with her. Talk about blackmail.
I then waited til she went back to Hong Kong where she was surrounded by her family before ending it. FOr me, that was tough.
But what you went through sounds painful. Feel for you man.
I'm very sorry to hear you've had it so hard. Hence the Chong-ism:
"In girls we love... but in porn we trust."
Thank you for your kind words. May I link you to my blog?
No worries man. Added you too, if thats cool with you.
How was your party?
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